The main criteria for mate selection: The nursing students' perspective in the south‐west of Iran during 2020–2021: A cross‐sectional study

Abstract Background and Aims Marriage has been a functional and moral relationship between men and women, which leads to the creation of a family and also can result in the birth of a child. This study aimed at determining the mate‐selection criteria of nursing students. Methods 298 nursing students were considered in this cross‐sectional, descriptive‐analytical study. The study data were collected using a researcher‐made questionnaire with confirmed validity and reliability. Results The male and female undergraduate students' mean age was 20–37 and 20–30 years, and male and female graduate students were aged 22–33 and 23–39 years, respectively. From the girls' perspective, 24 out of the 46 criteria were essential for mate selection. From the boys' perspective, 17 criteria were important and five were very low important. The results revealed a significant difference between both genders regarding the importance of 29 criteria. Boys believed that having housekeeping skills, coming from similar cities, and having physical attractiveness were of utmost importance. Conclusion Girls paid more attention to psychological and economic criteria in comparison with men. For girls, the husband's nobility and ability to manage the family and for men being a housewife were more important. Despite the differences in some points of view between both genders about considering the criteria for choosing a future spouse, according to all participants, it was important for the participants to include psychological, cultural, familial, and social criteria for choosing a mate selection. It is recommended that, before marriage, the youth should consider the above‐mentioned criteria to choose their future spouse. In addition, as much as possible, boys should have a decent job and an independent income before marriage.


| INTRODUCTION
The need to establish a lasting, intimate, and loving relationship is one of the most important reasons that ultimately causes every man and woman to choose a spouse and husband. Marriage is one of the best human needs to which the holy religion of Islam has given great importance and has considered it as one of the best religious traditions which is a source of innumerable blessings. According to the Quran, marriage is a source of peace for the human soul, which is one of the signs of God's mercy and greatness. The Messenger of God, Peace Be Upon Him, also has said: No building has been established in Islam that is more honorable to God than marriage. Marriage is an act that creates a bond between the two opposite sexes based on lasting sexual relationships. [1][2][3] Choosing a spouse is one of the most important choices that everyone faces at least once in his/her life. In every choice, a human, willingly or unwillingly, uses criteria as the basis of his/her choice. Some of these criteria are individual and some are common among almost all members of a group, culture, or community. At first glance, having different criteria for choosing a spouse makes this process difficult, but considering the basic criteria makes it easier. A study of the criteria for spouse selection concluded that two categories were included in choosing the right spouse. The first category is the primary criteria (characteristics, ethics, and individual beliefs) that are more stable, and the second category is the secondary criteria (appearance, economic status, and well-being) that are less tolerable and resilient. 4,5 In comparison to Western societies, Iranian families play an important role in spouse selection and it is concluded that Iranian families consider selection as the parent's right for their children. There is a premise that individuals bring factors from their families into marriage life that may affect their relationship. Therefore, the choice of a spouse among students should be carefully considered. 6,7 Due to changes in new values, beliefs, and convictions, young people cannot choose their spouse unseen and unknown and be hopeful for intellectual, value, and normative similarity in their future common life. Thoughts, beliefs, and opinions of the educated persons in spouse selection, as a partner, have a decisive and fundamental role in their future. Spouse selection based on the right criteria is one of the most important factors influencing a successful marriage and one of the worries in society, especially for people who are about to get married, is spouse selection. The purpose of this study was to determine the criteria for spouse selection from the nursing students' perspective.

| METHODS
This descriptive-analytical, cross-sectional study was conducted in the southwest of Iran.

| Study population
The study population consisted of nursing students. By availability sampling, 298 students (178 girls and 120 boys) in the third and fourth years of bachelor's degree (128 girls and 100 boys) and the last year of the master's degree (50 girls and 20 boys) entered the study. The students who did not complete the questionnaire, who were already married, and who were gay or lesbian were excluded.

| Data collection
A researcher-made electronic questionnaire containing basic criteria in spouse selection was used. As to the validity of the prepared questionnaire, it was distributed among 15 experts; before gathering the data, the reliability of the questionnaire was determined by piloting it on 30 students randomly; its coefficient of internal consistency was measured using Cronbach's alpha (0.92). First, the questionnaires were coded, and at the time of distributing the questionnaires, each participant was given a code, and based on the codes given to the questionnaires and the written consent forms, the coded documents were sent to the participants via the Internet for completion. In case, the participants were willing to participate in the research and complete the questionnaire, a check mark was put by the participant in the relevant space; when the questionnaire was  Table 2). The questionnaire was sent to the participants through virtual space.

| Statistical analysis
After gathering the data, they were analyzed using SPSS (Statistical Package for the Social Sciences), version 21. Descriptive statistics methods and frequency distribution tables were used for describing 2 of 7 | RAFIEE the characteristics of the subjects, also to determine the frequency distribution of the subjects' attitudes in preference to spouse selection criteria, we used two-sided Chi-square test through SPSS software version 21 at an error level of > 0.05.

| RESULTS
In this study, 228 undergraduate (42.5% girls and 33.5% boys) and 70 graduate (17% girls and 7% boys) students were considered. The mean age of undergraduate girls was 22.7 years (age range 20-30), the mean age of undergraduate boys was 22.1 years (age range 20-37), the mean age of graduate girls was 27.2 years (age range 23-39), and the mean age of graduate boys was 26.9 years (age range 22-33). The rest of the demographic information is listed in Table 1. As to 84.5% of the participants (89% of female and 80% of male), cohabitation was a commitment, not a limitation, and there was no significant difference (p < 0.05) between the boys' and girls' views in this regard. Girls considered 24 criteria of their future spouse as necessary, but boys reported 16 criteria as important and five criteria as very important (Table 2). Boys and girls did not differ significantly in the preference of importance given to 16 criteria. Chi-square statistical results showed that there was a significant relationship between gender and 29 criteria for spouse selection (p < 0.05) so that, in most criteria, boys and girls in the ratio of the importance of the criteria were different from each other. Besides the criteria of having a housewife skill, boys considered such criteria as residing in the same province and having an attractive physical appearance and appropriate physical beauty to be more important. Gender was effective in responding to these criteria and a significant difference was observed (p < 0.05).

| DISCUSSION
For spouse selection, there is a great emphasis on the moral, behavioral, cultural, economic, and religious standards of the future spouse. Girls considered the following psychological criteria (emotional control, ability to express emotions, honesty and truthfulness, good manner, no resentment and stubbornness, kindness, intimacy, responsibility and accountability, decency and modesty, chastity, independent personality, ability to manage problems, mental health, prolonged acquaintance before marriage, no addiction to cigarettes, alcohol and psychotropic drugs) as essential in their future spouse.
However, boys considered criteria (emotional control, ability to express emotion, responsibility and accountability, independent personality, and ability to manage problems) as important. There was no significant difference between the criteria that both genders considered essential, and it seems that these criteria are a priority for girls, similar to boys. Shahhosseini et al. showed that psychological factors (good morals, honesty, loyalty, self-respect, responsibility, and commitment) were the most important criteria for spouse selection. 8,9 Zaheri et al. 10 also have shown that this criterion is one of the five main criteria of marriage; girls, in comparison with boys, pay attention a little more to it. From the participant's perspective, the criterion of having a mental health (no obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, etc.) is essential, and the observed significant difference between the two genders means that girls pay more attention to this criterion. Carmen et al. 11 also found that mental health was the most important criterion in spouse selection.
According to girls, having a suitable job and a decent income is essential for the future spouse, and having a house, a car, good financial conditions, and wealth are desirable. There was a significant difference between both genders. Because girls need family security and independence to start a family and live together, it is important for them not to have financial problems in their future life, even if they have grown up in a family with no suitable or favorable economic conditions. Abbaszadeh et al. 12 also mentioned that having a job for the husband was more important for girls than having a wife's job for boys. Khallad 13 11 also mentioned that, besides being a citizen, the first priority in spouse selection is nobility, honesty, and sociability. In our traditional society, housekeeping skills are among the characteristics that are usually specific to women. Also, men pay more attention to such characteristics for spouse selection. 8,14 The results showed that social criteria were also important. Girls  In addition, as much as possible, boys should have a decent job and an independent income before marriage. The amount of the wife's dowry and tocher was not very important for both genders.
For boys, the physical attractiveness and beauty of their future spouse were important, and, for both genders, doing genetic counseling and not having inherited diseases were essential; also, boys were more concerned about more age differences between the two genders. Despite the differences in some points of view between both genders about considering the criteria for choosing a future spouse, according to all participants, it was important for the participants to include psychological, cultural, familial, and social criteria for choosing a mate-selection. It is recommended that, before marriage, the youth should consider the above-mentioned criteria to choose their future spouse.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thanks to those who collaborated with the researcher. his study was performed with the financial support of Shiraz University of Medical Sciences.

CONFLICT OF INTEREST
The author declares no conflict of interest.

TRANSPARENCY STATEMENT
The lead author Ghazanfar Rafiee affirms that this manuscript is an honest, accurate, and transparent account of the study being reported; that no important aspects of the study have been omitted; 6 of 7 | RAFIEE and that any discrepancies from the study as planned (and, if relevant, registered) have been explained.

DATA AVAILABILITY STATEMENT
The author confirms that the data supporting the findings of this study are available within the article and its supplementary materials.

ETHICAL CONSIDERATION
All procedures performed in this study for gathering data, were in accordance with the ethical standards of the Shiraz University